So I need to go to sleep but I just can’t. This post is parts of what are running through my head right now and what I’ve been just talking about with friends and God. So most of these thoughts came about after listening to Leah talk to me about IYC and then seeing Kelsey’s post about it. It fired me up for God just seeing them stoked for him.

Man this is AMAZING!
I mean
thats only 2 people I’ve talked to from IYC
and man its crazy!
They are stoked!
I seriously think that God is moving
like ive never seen this

I mean I don’t know but just since January I’ve seen tons happen.
Part of it is just that i have been growing more
and praying for all my friends specifically
and its like
just watching them
slowly grow and connect
and piece these things together

youth group has been growing
and everything

Well yah know before January
I knew who was a Christian kinda…
and my friends knew
but now its like
we can really stand up for each other
and such
It’s fellowship

thats why this Bible Study is a GREAT idea

I’M STOCKED!
even though i didnt go to IYC

thats why im so excited
because
it makes me all happy
everytime i get down
like
“Man God I’ve been praying every day
and I’m not seeing anything”
and “I don’t know God
I’ve prayed every single other day for each person by name
today i dont think i really need to”
I want to just do a “God work in all my friends lives” and leave it at that
but I don’t
and then POW God’s all “no somethings happening”
haha
and seeing others on fire just makes it all the cooler

and I know im not alone

I mean for me
I try really really hard
Every day is a struggle and it just sometimes seems worthless
like before when I got up during a movie and left because it was inappropriate
someone told me they noticed
that helped
I thought no one noticed
that was hard
but I did it
and i dont think it really does that much
but it does

I mean if one person tells me they’ve noticed I’m sure others did
and then when another tells me, I know they do.

and just when people see me do something like get up during a movie and say “hey I wish I could do that”
it helps me to do it more
and that keeps me holding strong in my faith
and be a stronger leader

and then a friend talking to me today
and reconfirming
just saying “I know your a strong Christian”
it boosts it

I mean I need it
as much as I know I’m supposed to just care what God thinks…. I know I care what others think. I mean you know why people who are popular, or funny like to be the center of attention and be told they are cool or funny? Well it’s because they care what you think and it’s hard without it.

cause sometimes it feels like no one notices my stands for faith
I think they just see me
as this guy who trows parties and stuff and that im just normal
which I am, but I’m not.

Sometimes I feel like crying cause it’s so hard
other times I feel like crying its sooo cool!

and then God’s got his Krebs Cycle Booster (or something)
as Winkley calls them
where God will boost your walk
with a great conference or talk or just his nature and beauty
it could be anything
suddenly your on fire again

and then
myself just being the overanalyzing freak I am
I always think I can do better
which i can
I mean look at Jesus
HE WAS Insane!
in a good way
he stood up no matter what!
and I’ve know at times I dont
like right now, I’m going what are people gonna think when they read this?
Should I really click that button that says publish?

but the thing is I notice that sin
and its cause I’m stickin up for God more
its like Kelsey said, in response to my last post
the more light im filled with the more darkenss I see

man….
and you know what
its not easy to Read the bible every day, and my devotion and pray and read other Christian books
but it really is good
and once i start
I love it
but it will never get easy
it will always be hard
because the world is currently controlled by Satan
and he will do everything he can to stop me from practicing my faith

So in my faith
to show my strength in Christ
say in games like truth or dare or compromising situations
I will play or stay until I judge that its bad, then I’ll say hey no thats not right, we shouldnt be doing that and if we keep doing it I’m gonna leave.
and then follow through
if they still do that stuff
I’ll leave
if they say ok whatever we will stop
then its fine
and then thats when I need others to fight
like you and other Christians

When I see others on a spiritual high (as Kaitlynn says), it encourages me to stop disobeying

Its hard for me to stay strong
when I hardly see anyone else

I mean I have to have role models to

and friends who stand strong
and let me tell you
I dont see many doing it
I mean I dont do it half the time
so for me to excpect others to
is hypocritical

but the more you try
the better you will get
the more you fall
the easier it is to get up the next time
the more you struggle the stonger you get
like building up an immunity to poison

James 4:6-8

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

So yeah. The comment about the bible study, that was because I am planning on starting a bible study. I don’t think I have ever said this but I seriously think God is calling me to do it. I see all my friends at youth groups and I want to get to know them, and talk with them about God but youth group doesn’t meet your needs on a deep spirtiaul level always, and we all are commited to our churches. So a bible study will be great. I can be fed. I can converse with friends about God so we can grow stronger together. I don’t know where God wants me to take this yet, but I know I will soon. Even if it’s just every once in a while friends getting together to just talk about God, with no agenda, it will be great. Though I am hoping for more structure. It will take prayer. So pray for it. I hope to see you grow in Christ. Stay strong.

Acts 2:42
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”

Phillipians 3:10
“I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,”