**Warning the post below is a joke. The viewpoints expressed in the post below are in no way connected to the thoughts of the author. Please don’t hold anything against him, even though he is the creator of the thoughts. The purpose is to make you laugh, not get mad. Thank you**

So I’ve solved the worlds problems. Basically it came about during a communications class. See we were doing persuasive essays, or debates. So I decided that there are 2 ways to solve all of these problems. The first and simplest way, is to take humans out of the equations. See there wouldn’t be so little salmon if we hadn’t built all the dams. Which then when we needed salmon, and the sea lions started eating them, we wouldn’t have to kill the sea lions, or not have enough salmon.

Another example is assisted suicide. Should it be legal? Well it doesn’t matter if their are no humans who want to kill themselves, or doctors who wanted money.

Then there is the most obvious fact being, that we couldn’t debate (argue) about these topics if humans didn’t exist. Thus take humans out of the equation and the world would be perfect.

So the other idea I came up with was this.

So to start with, there are to many nuclear weapons and we are afraid of starting wars. So to get rid of the nuclear weapons we just have to bomb the Wal-Marts. See there are also to many Wal-Marts, which are putting small businesses out of business. Now this also solves a few extra problems. See Wal-Mart is an equal opportunity employer. This means they will employ anybody equally, rapists, murderers, illegal immigrants, thieves, and kidnappers. So we blow up the Wal-Marts and we get rid of these people, Wal-Mart and Nuclear Weapons. This then causes radiation. Which will cause diseases and surely terminally ill patients. So the people who survive the Wal-Mart bombings will either die painfully, or have to be administered drugs to help them die. Unluckily the USA will have made it illegal for a doctor to perform assisted suicide, so the Mexicans and Canadians will be practicing it instead. So all of these people who worked at Wal-Mart and now have Terminal illnesses will have to go to Mexico or Canada or some other country. So the Mexicans and Canadians and people of other country’s who are coming to America illegally, because they can’t find jobs will have jobs assisting suicides. Unfortunately the US will also have raised the driving age to past 25, because our brains don’t develop till at least 25, and then we need some practice. So no one can drive to these places to get the “help” they need at killing themselves. So, they will have to ride whales. This in turn will solve 2 more problems. It will save the whales from whale hunting, and while riding whales the people can shoot the Sea Lions eating our salmon. Thus problems solved. Now what about the Myspace debate? and Teacher Dress code? You might ask. Well I will tell you. We will use Myspace to plan this entire operation, and make sure everyone is wearing the right clothes at the same time. Not to uncomfortable, not to distracting, but just right. Now the world is at peace. And thus, the end of my theory on how Myspace will solve our world problems.