Life19 Jan 2008 09:25 pm
I ache. In my heart. I don’t know what it is, or why. It’s sort of a mix between the nostalgic depressed mood, and the have to go do something feeling.
It’s strange, it makes me want to change the world in a way, affect it somehow. Yet at the same time it almost cripples me. I don’t understand it.
“The heart has it’s reasons which reason knows nothing of.” (Blaise Pascal)
I wish this would go away, and yet, I like it. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how to cure this pain, but I think….I think I know what I want to replace it.
The exact opposite feeling. Though I don’t know what that feeling is yet. Let me know if you find out what that feeling is.
January 21st, 2008 at 7:04 am
Spencer, I just wanted to let you know we are praying for you and we love you. Don’t run from the ache. It’s okay to live in it for a bit. Embrace that melancholy feeling and ask God what He wants to do through it.
What you’re going through, while tough, is better than living as an emotionally flat person. The lows (and the highs when they come) are signs of life. A real life, lived without fear. And that’s how we want to live, eh? Even when it sucks, it’s better than being emotionally flatlined.
Love you, sweet nephew.
January 21st, 2008 at 10:43 am
Thanks, it’s nice to know my family is there for me. You guys are great. Hope your life is going swell!
February 21st, 2008 at 11:44 am
I read this and related to it so much that I just had to post and let you know that I feel exactly that way a lot. Mostly around the wee hours of the night, though. It can be fun to wallow in it a bit, but it’s not really fun in and of itself. I don’t know. That didn’t really make sense. Anyway, the feeling doesn’t make sense, so why should our discussion thereof?
March 27th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I think I kinda know more what you mean by this right now…