I find myself beginning to wonder about how to live life. See, it’s not as simple as it sounds….. or more so it is, but I’m scared. I don’t know how to say this, but I’ll take a stab.

My whole life I’ve found it pretty easy to fit in, easy to be myself and stand out while fitting in that is. I’ve never had an issue with people really not liking me, with me having to really try and stand up for what I believe. I’ve always had friends that might not agree with me, but they don’t try and force me to drink, swear, steal, do drugs, etc. etc. I mean, even when people I know have been doing things I’m uncomfortable with I’ve always found it pretty easy to just say no and stand up for what I believe. Partys and such where they play games I disagree with, or want to do something I don’t believe is right…. I can just say no. In fact sometimes I’d even pull out my Bible and just start reading.

Well, I’m afraid life is going to be different now. I don’t know for sure, but I just feel it is. Talking to my friends at college it seems harder for them. Some of them are making choices that they don’t agree with. Some are just being presented with situations that require them to take a stand one way or another. Soon I believe I will be in those situations.

Granted I’ve had a few already, between hanging out with a bunch of Sailors who drink, smoke, swear; Disc Golfers who smoke, swear, drink, and do drugs; and now working with co-workers who probably do all that, means it might be harder for me to stand up for what I believe.

I don’t know why it’s so different. Maybe because I’m younger, maybe because most of them are my superiors and so I’m afraid if I make a mistake it means I could lose my job. Or maybe it’s just that they are all new people compared with the friends I’ve had for years. Whatever it is I know I want to please them all more and fit in, so I know if the opportunity presents itself I will find it harder to take a stand for what I believe.

This is why life is simple and yet harder. I know what I have to do, and how to do it…. but it doesn’t make it easier to do.  So I guess what I’m saying is… I hope God gives me the strength to stand up for him when I need to. I guess I’m saying that I know this is a great opportunity to show God’s love and so it’s harder cause it can have more of in impact… and thus I pray God gives me the strength to be used by him.

I pray that God will give me the strength to be his tool in my job, in my life, to reach the unbelievers and lost sheep of his. I pray that God makes it easier for me to live my simple life.

***I flipped open my Bible tonight after writing this and here are the verses I read

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

and Romans 8:31 “If God is for us, who can be against us”

Wow huh? God’s pretty amazing***